50 Reasons to Have Sex White Collar
by mystic7194
Summary: In How I Met Your Mother they create a list of 50 Reasons to Have Sex. I've written a fic for every reason. The fics are mostly slash from different fandoms including Sherlock, Supernatural, Grimm, and Glee. Most fics stand alone. This story contains the White Collar fics. Visit my profile for fics in other fandoms. see each chapter for specific warnings, pairings, ext.
1. Reason 29: To avoid working

Title: Reason 29: To avoid cleaning, studying, or doing work of any kind

Spoilers: None Pairing: established Neal/Peter Length: 386 words Rating:PG-13

Warning: References to sex and oral sex

Summary: Neal tries to distract Peter from work.

AN: I'm writing this while trying to avoid doing my grad school homework. So, I can relate.

Neal drops the completed file on his desk with a frustrated sigh. If he has to read about one more mortgage fraud case his head just might implode from shear boredom. I doesn't help that there's still a stack of nearly a dozen files that Peter wants him to read by tomorrow morning. With his luck they're all mortgage frauds.

He can see Peter at his desk. It might just be his imagination but Peter looks as bored as he feels. Maybe there's a way to get them both out of work.

Peter knows what's Neal's doing. You don't get as high as Peter has within the FBI without being able to identify behavior patterns. Plus, Neal is a pretty obvious flirt.

He starts by working suggestive language into the conversation.

"Do you think we should get agent Miller a plant? Her desk looks so naked."

"If you have any more files for me you can just stick them in my box."

'What time do you think we'll be getting off?"

When Peter ignored that, Neal decided to try a different tactic. The number of things Neal had dropped in the last half-hour is pretty astonishing. Strangely, items seem to suddenly slip out of the ex-cons hands just as he passes in front of Peter's desk. Then Neal has no other choice but to bend over to pick up the offending item directly in front of where Peter is working. The tight pants Neal wore to work today just extenuate the consultant's gorgeous ass but Peter does his best to ignore him and continue working.

Neal's final tactic is to lean in close to ask Peter questions about one of the files. Peter can feel the heat of his lover's body pressed against his side. He can even smell the cologne that he got Neal for Christmas. It's pretty intoxicating. That's what finally breaks Peter's resolve.

Before Neal even has time to be smug about the success of his plan, Peter has Neal kneeling in the file room with his lips wrapped around Peter's cock.

"You're not getting out of reading those files," Peter informs Neal. "But maybe if you finish early I'll fuck you over the table in the conference room before we go home."

Maybe mortgage fraud isn't so bad after all.

AN: I'm super tired and sore from running around campus doing a scavenger hunt. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave me a review. Tell me what you liked and what could be improved.


	2. Reason 32:Cheer someone up pity

Title: Reason 32: Cheer Someone Up (Pity) Spoilers: Episode 4.3 Diminishing Returns

Pairing: Neal Caffrey /Peter Burke (established relationship) Rating: R Warning: Sex, semi-public sex

Summary: Neal cheers Peter up about his predicament.

AN: This fic is set between episode 4.3 and episode 4.4.

No matter how many times Peter says that his reassignment to the evidence warehouse isn't a problem Neal can't help but compare the cave to prison. The limited freedom, the overbearing guard, even the sparsely decorated 'picnic area' all remind Neal of his time spent behind bars.

And that's why Neal feels so guilty. It's Neal's fault. Peter is practically in prison because Neal ran. Neal made the choice now Peter is the one suffering.

So, Neal does everything he can to help. He starts by bringing Peter takeout from one of their favorite places. Neal thought a little comfort food could lift Peter's spirit and it had worked until Peter's babysitter had interrupted them. Neal sent Mozzie to help with the Herculean task of cataloging thousands of cell phones in just a few days. Neal had even tried to engineer it so Peter got credit for David Cook's arrest. That would definitely get Peter reinstated. Unfortunately, Peter had disappeared before the rest of the FBI arrived.

But that's just a temporary setback. Neal is going to make sure Peter returns to his rightful place in the White Collar division. Neal is certain of that. Right now it's just a waiting game. He's worried about Peter's spirit. Helping Peter could take a while and with how soul crushing it is to work at the cave, the FBI agent could really use some cheering up and Neal knows just how to do it.

"Peter, today I brought you something special," Neal says when he and Peter are out in the picnic area for lunch. Peter reaches into the bag.

"A sandwich?" Peter asks pulling the food from the bag. It doesn't look like something special.

"Under the sandwich," Neal explains. Peter reaches back into the bag. This time Peter pulls out condoms and a bottle of lube. He's definitely surprised. Then his face breaks into a grin as he takes in the mischievous look on the the ex-cons face. He doesn't need to ask any more questions.

Neal is pressed against the side of the building in one of the camera blind spots as Peter thrusts deep into his very core. They're both still mostly clothed. Neal's shirt and tie look undisturbed while his pants and underwear are pooled around his ankles. Peter hasn't even bothered to take off his pant. He'd just unzipped his fly and let his cock spring free. Neal had prepared himself before visiting so they wouldn't have to waste any of Peter's limited lunch hour. Neal buries his face in Peter's neck as he tries to keep quiet. They don't want Agent Patterson to come outside to investigate the noise. He'd probably write it up in his report which could be awkward when Hughes reads it later.

They both come with 10 minutes to spare. Neal just barely has the presence of mind to keep his seed from spilling on Peter's suit. Neal reaches into his jacket and finds some wet wipes. He cleans Peter until there's no visible evidence of what they just did. Neal cleans himself up just enough that others won't notice. He watches Peter have to hurry and get dressed so that Patterson won't reprimand him for being late in returning from lunch.

Neal wants to feel Peter inside of him for the rest of the day so that he'll remember what he's trying to accomplish as he works to return Peter to where he belongs.

AN: Please leave me a review. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.


	3. Reason 46: It's Getting a Little Hard

Title: Reason 46: It's Getting a Little Hard

Spoilers: None Pairing: Neal/Peter; implied Neal/Peter/El Rating: R Warning: hand job, blow job, implied kinky sex, implied spankings, implied punishment

Summary: During an FBI briefing, Neal's daydreams about his relationship with the Burkes cause little!Neal to get excited. Peter helps him out.

"So, Neal will..." Neal is barely listening as Peter outlines his plan to arrest the suspect. All of this careful planning is just like preparing for a heist. It really gets Neal's adrenaline going. And Peter's right in front of him, an impressive and commanding leader. It reminds Neal of the different sort of commands that Peter and Elizabeth had given him last night in the privacy of the Burk's bedroom. Neal's ass still aches against the uncomfortable conference room seats from the spanking he'd received last night for being disobedient.

With the memories of last night running through Neal's mind as well as the reality of a commanding Peter right in front of him, Neal isn't surprised that little-Neal takes an interest in the situation. Neal realizes that it's completely inappropriate to be sporting an erection during a briefing with a dozen FBI agents sitting around him. That would deter any normal person but little-Neal is a kinky bastard. The thrill of being caught just makes him harder.

He tries to deal with little-Neal by thinking of something unsexy: sweaty people, earwax, Fowler in a bikini. But Peter is still right in front of him, competent and commanding. Commanding Peter beats Fowler in a bikini any day.

The sudden movement around him alerts Neal that the meeting is over. He thinks about heading back to his desk like the other agents but he has a rather prominent bulge in his nicely tailored pants that could attract attention. Maybe if he just sits here for a little while the problem will take care of itself.

"Neal, what are you still doing in here?" Peter's question startles Neal from his thoughts. Neal assumed that Peter had left with the others.

"Peter," Neal says with an overbright smile. "I was just gathering my thoughts..." Neal lies. He's pretty sure Peter isn't buying it. Peter presses into Neal's space. Peter looks Neal up and down searching for the deception. His eyes stop on Neal's tented pants.

"Are you hard?"

"I..." but before Neal can come up with an excuse Peter's hand investigates for itself. Neal can't help but groan as Peter's hand travels over his erection.

"Peter," the FBI agent's name becomes a prayer for release.

Peter unzips the ex-con's pants and grips his cock. Peter begins to teasingly stroke. He keeps Neal on the edge of orgasm, teetering so close but not giving him enough to go over. Neal bucks up into Peter's grip seeking more. Peter holds Neal's hips down and Neal whimpers. But Peter understands what Neal needs. He begins to stroke faster and Neal is quickly brought to orgasm. Neal nearly bites through his lip trying to remain quiet while he explodes in Peter's hand. He's pretty sure the shades were drawn over the glass walls before the meeting (at least Neal hopes so) but it wouldn't do for any of the other agents to hear what he and Peter are doing.

Peter is cleaning Neal up when Neal notices that the FBI agent is still hard. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't reciprocate?

He sinks gracefully to his knees and takes Peter into his mouth. The FBI agent shudders with pleasure as the ex-con expertly licks and sucks him to orgasm. Peter's hands tangle in Neal's hair but he's careful not to pull. They try to refrain from getting too rough while at work. When Peter comes, Neal swallows it all and licks Peter clean before tucking him back into his pants.

"After we're done with this case you're coming home for dinner," Peter says after he's caught his breath. It's more a statement of fact than a request. Neal is aware that there will be more than just dinner. El will probably want to punish them for having sex at work without her permission.

Neal can't wait.

AN: Who has 6 grad school projects and a NaNoWrMo novel she should be working on? This girl. But f*ck it. I'd rather be writing fanfics for you guys. Please leave me a review.


	4. Reason 49: To Change the Subject

Title: Reason 49: To Change the Subject Spoilers: None Pairing: Neal/Peter Rating: R Warning: sexual references

Summary: Neal uses sex to distracts Peter from something naughty that he's done.

Peter had been assigned to retrieve a painting stolen from a billionaire's art collection. Peter had brought Neal in to consult on the case. Neal was surprised to find out that he was very familiar with the painting since it was a forgery that he'd created nearly a decade ago.

Neal couldn't let the painting get back to its owner. In a fit of arrogance Neal had signed this work just as he had the bonds. A skilled appraiser would be able to identify the painting as a forgery. When the ensuing investigation irrefutably proved that Neal was the forger, Peter would have no choice but to send his CI back to prison.

It's really better for everyone that a fire broke out in the van transporting the painting and the painting was reduced to ashes. That doesn't get Neal out of the woods. Despite the fact that Neal was with Peter at the time of the incident Peter is still suspicious. Neal wishes he could be indignant about how quick Peter is to suspect him when things go wrong but it'd be a bit insincere given that Neal was the mastermind behind the fire even if he'd needed Mozzie's help with the execution.

Peter isn't going to let it go. He'll definitely be stopping by Neal's place later this evening to question him. Peter has gotten pretty good at seeing through Neal's lies so Neal determines that the best way to keep Peter from finding out about Neal's role the painting's destruction is to distract him with something more interesting than work…sex.

It's not like this is the first time that Neal and Peter have done the horizontal tango or the first time that Neal's used sex to get out of trouble or even the first time Neal's used sex to get out of trouble with Peter.

Neal estimates that he has an hour or so to get himself ready before Peter shows up. He stands under the hot spray of the shower letting his muscles relax. As he prepares himself for their meeting later tonight, Neal lets his mind drifts to thoughts of Peter and the questions he would ask Neal if given the chance.

_Peter wouldn't even be inside the door before he'd begin barking out questions_.

"_What do you know about the destruction of Mr. Hammond's painting?" _

_(A lot, considering that Neal had planned it.)_

Neal slicks up his fingers and runs them in teasing circles around his puckered entrance.

_How does a painting valued at $2 million end up as a pile of ashes? _

_(A bit of gasoline and a dropped cigarette.) _

Neal gasps at the sensation as he presses his long, wet fingers deep inside himself.

_Did you set his painting on fire? _

_(Technically it was Mozzie.) _

He adds a third finger, gently but insistently opening himself up. He wants to be open enough for Peter to enter him easily but still tight enough to drive Peter crazy.

_Do you realize how angry Mr. Hammond is?_

_(He would have been even angrier if he'd have found out the painting was a forgery. He never liked it anyway- I understand, it wasn't one of my better works.)_

When Neal feels that he's sufficiently stretched, he rinses himself off and gets out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his waist even though it does little to hide the fact that he's hard. Just then there's a knock at the door. Right on time.

Neal opens the door. He's not surprised to see Peter on the other side although he pretends to be.

"Oh, hey Peter," Neal greets as innocently as possible. "What are you doing here?"

Peter doesn't answer at first. He's too focused on Neal, still wet from his shower, wearing only a towel, and sporting an obvious bulge in his nether regions. "Peter? Do you want to come in?"

"Neal, I want to talk to you about…" Neal doesn't bother with subtlety or letting Peter finish his sentence. As soon as the door is closed, Neal moves into Peter's space, so close that Neal's naked chest is nearly pressed against the fabric of Peter's suit, and drops his towel. Peter spends a few seconds in shock before giving in to temptation.

"You're not getting out of having this conversation," Peter says before kissing Neal deeply. Neal smirks as Peter begin to remove his own clothes. If Neal plays this right work will be the last thing on Peter's mind.

AN: Sorry I didn't have this chapter up sooner. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please leave a review. The last chapter will be up in the next few days.


End file.
